Divorce is never easy, but if you are separating during a time when small children are involved, this can be even harder. It is important to keep the needs and emotions of your children at the forefront during a divorce. Here are four tips for a divorce that will involve small children.
1. Try to Keep as Much Normalcy as Possible
The more you can do to keep young kids' routines intact, the better. If either you or your soon-to-be ex-spouse are moving out of the family home, try to keep other routines such as picking small children up at daycare or standing dinner nights together as the norm. If things drastically change and one parent is noticeably absent, this can leave children worried that they may have done something wrong.
2. Be Open and Listen to Concerns
Younger children might not understand that divorce isn't their fault since they are directly affected. Your younger children can pick up on emotions, but may have a hard time understanding where anger and hurt is coming from. Be sure to have a united front and sit down with children together if possible. If your divorce will be contentious, you may want to offer counseling services for children as well. Your divorce attorney may have recommendations for assistance in this area.
3. Be Ready With Concrete Explanations
Sometimes it can be hard for kids to understand exactly what a divorce is. The good news is that there is plenty of literature and real-world examples that can help put divorce into perspective for kids. Books on divorce or situations with other relatives can help explain what happens during a divorce. See if your family lawyer might have some suggestions for explaining divorce in a practical way to younger children as well.
4. Understand that Custody Arrangements Might Evolve
Especially if your children are younger, it is important to be somewhat flexible when it comes to joint custody agreements. As your children get older, they might be in different schools and involved in different activities. You and your ex might have new schedules or living arrangements down the line. Understanding upfront that custody agreements might need to be changed legally through the years will help make this less jarring.
Divorcing can be rough on everyone in the family. When it comes to small children, there will many changes ahead that they might not have the emotional capacity to understand. Being sensitive to your child's needs and level of developmental understanding is important. Make sure to side with a family law attorney, like those at Madison Law Firm PLLC, who can guide you through this challenging process.
